DIY Haircuts have always been a thing for me. The earliest memory I have of giving myself a haircut is when I was about 5 years old, and I was at my best friend’s house in Bishopville, MD. My mom has repeatedly been saying that I really needed a haircut, and so I thought Why not take matters into my own hands?
It seemed easy enough, all I needed was some scissors, and a swing-set. Okay, so maybe the second part of the equation seems a bit odd, but the truth is that I knew that if I took the scissors outside and cut my hair, I wouldn’t get busted for it, and I am also pretty sure that my best friend at the time (who was also 5), condoned and applauded (of course) my behavior, and we happened to be playing outside on her swing-set, so with a pair of scissors in hand I went to town and started cutting away.
I wish I had a picture of this to share, but you have to imagine that at the end of this haircut, I don’t have bangs plural, I have bang. ONE BANG. It was amazing, and looking back I don’t know how it is that I didn’t start a hairstyle trend among the kindergartners in my classroom, but I have to also look back and hope we were on break from school at the time, because that haircut was horrific, and I although I always seem to have gone with the flow when it comes to my hair, I think I would have been pretty mortified if I had to go to school with hair as bad as this.
I do remember my mom saying that as a punishment I was going to have to keep the haircut for 2 weeks, but I think she also shortly took that back and took my to the hair salon on the West Ocean City mall, where I promptly had my hair cut into as much of a bowl cut as possible, and thus my hair would remain in the infamous bowl cut for most of the rest of my childhood. 
Sometimes it would grow out a bit in the back in my attempt to have long beautiful little girl hair, but for some reason when I look back all I can see are mullets. I also went through a stage in middle school, where I hated my hair so much that I had it permed regularly, and while I still have a lot of fondness for the curl that it put into my hair at the time, I also look back at those pictures and think poodles would have been a more appropriate wearer of that look.
I definitely think that looking back at my hair issues over the course of my childhood I can remember feeling like my hair was never good enough.
- Someone telling me at another student at school had mentioned that if they had hair like mine they would definitely get professional help.
- Dying my hair every color in the rainbow and realizing the only color that would stick to dark dark brown hair for any length of time was black. I had a goth or “hard” look going on for quite some time with my dyed jet black hair.
- Stringy, greasy, psoriasis, jet black, dandruffy messes.
- Having lice in Kindergarten and and being convinced that the reason I had this and everyone else in the school had it was because I had asked Maria to play with my hair in Mrs. Fell’s class.
- Said lice incident resulted in my stuffed animals having to be but into garbage bags for about 2 weeks, which seem especially terrible.
- Also, I made the mistake of honestly telling my Hair Cuttery stylists that we had had lice recently, and I don’t think my mom was very glad that I had revealed this information.
So I guess what I am saying if that I have had my fair share of hair care issues that were to hard to bare, I swear. 
Okay, I really wanted to make an obnoxious sentence about hair there, and I did. So there. =) But yes, hair was always a bit traumatizing to me, and even though I started taking matters into my own hands on the swing set, I have never been able to master the art of hair.
My good friend Tina in college could tell you about the time that I just asked her to randomly chop my hair, and she could also tell you that I cried because of the hairdryer being too hot when she was generously doing my hair for free for such a momentous occasion as my wedding.
A few years ago, I had a coworker at work who had a really cool asymmetrical hair, and at that time I started thinking that even though I have always gone with easy as much as possible when it came to hair, that I was now trying to pull off a style that was really hard. With the help of a great stylist who happens to be Charlie’s best friend’s wife, I was able to take the leap into going asymmetrical and finally going for the half shaved look.
Lately, I haven’t been feeling like myself, and my hair had grown out since our engagement party in June, so I decided I would try to do my own shave. I have done this before, but this time was more of a disaster given that I had not only chopped off a bunch of my long hair, but also have shaved my head with a #1 clipper up to past the part where my part should have been, and just to finish is off, I went ahead and I tried to fix that part with scissors leaving a nice big old bald looking spot right at the hair line, and a head that was kinda of buzzed with a #1 in so many places that I could and could not see, that I had to go into a salon to get it fixed, because while my mom threatening to leave my hair like that for two weeks when I was a kid is funny, the look I was currently sporting was way way less funny. I was a little embarrassed, and that doesn’t happen to me regularly at all.
At the Great Clips the women who was cutting my hair literally laughed at me- which I appreciated. I don’t remember her name, but she said What are you doing trying to take my job from me? and then she jokingly stated If you keep cutting your own hair you are going to lose your job too. That one provoked a BELLY laugh, and it also inspired me to share some of my life long hair struggles, which on the scheme of all things is a first world problem, but I think that I at least find it very amusing.
Do you have any crazy hair stories or trauma? Do you remember any of mine? Can you share? Would you ever shave half or all of your head? Just some questions you might want to answer in the comments if you happened to not think TLDR HAIR POST. Lol. Rofl. Manical cackle….muhahahahah
IK
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